Just a thought: where do feelings ‘go’ when we suppress them?
Science tells us that our minds and bodies are connected. This seems obvious, but what are the implications? When we suppress an emotion it shuts down a part of our mind, and sends cues to our entire nervous system which responds with it’s own kind of holding pattern then lock-down. Our mind and body will hold on to that energy until we find a way of feeling or expressing that emotion. When you allow yourself to fully experience an emotion, rather than judge or suppress it, you enable the energy to flow, and yourself to move on to something different.
Rather than talk about this, let’s experience it. Here is a beautiful example from Jeff Foster about sadness:
SADNESS, A PORTAL TO LOVE
When you’re feeling sad, just feel sad.
Don’t try to ‘not feel sad’; you’ll only split yourself in two.
Don’t think about feeling sad.
Just feel sad.
Feel the raw sensations in the belly, heart, throat, head.
Let the sensations tingle, pulse, vibrate, shimmer.
Breathe into them, dignify them; soften around them.
(It’s just energy that wants to move in your body.)
Drop the word ‘sad’; simply connect with what’s alive.
Be the room for these sensations, their loving embrace.
Know that these sensations aren’t a mistake;
you’re not doing anything wrong.
You are alive. And sensitive. And not numb.
You have a right to feel sad!
To stand with sadness; be its loving parent, not its victim.
There is no shame in this. No failure.
So just feel sad, friend; your sadness is a portal
to love, and a tender embrace of this fragile world.
– Jeff Foster
You might try these things:
- We grow up learning to ‘judge’ emotions as good or bad and that leads us to block certain feelings. When we do this they don’t go away, they fester and distort. Start to notice when emotion pops up and observe how you respond.
- Use your breath to engage in the present moment and experience whatever emotion is present. Sink in to it, and breathe through it knowing there is another side to this. It takes approximately 90 seconds for the cycle of an emotion to run. Even when the emotion peaks with intensity know that it will ebb and pass.
- Experiencing emotion shows you are alive, not numb. As Jeff Foster writes don’t think about it, just feel it and allow it to be a portal to something wonderful 🙂
With warm wishes for a happy day,