#103
Stop Thinking About It
Have you ever had the experience of something not working for you so you try thinking your way out of it. harder? Or you try working away at it harder and harder? This was ingrained in me from an early age. Most probably the same for you.
Following cultural norms we have come to believe that going deeper, working harder brings better results. Surely you can just think your way through it?
Over time I have observed that this strategy rarely works. Worse still I end up tired, deflated, uninspired, at a loss as to what to do. This is especially true when I’m feeling really stuck. In that case my body responds by telling me to sleep. In the middle of the day!
So long as I continue to do the thing I was doing, just more of it, the worse things get. The harder I try, the deeper I sink. The experience is a bit like struggling in quicksand.
We become more entrenched in the very thing that isn’t working for us.
Nobody likes feeling stuck. It is uncomfortable and occasionally downright scary. Trust me, you can’t wrestle it to the ground. Instead, you need to stop doing what you’re doing and do these two things. It never fails.
So What Do We Do Instead?
Preparing the ground
- Think of this ‘stuckness’ as a massive road sign telling you to slow down and stop. You are headed in the wrong direction
- Get some distance from the issue by deliberately turning away from it
- To do that you need to find a way to get out of your head
Two things that always work to get out of your head
- One way of doing this is by doing something physical (walk, stretch, garden, go for a bike ride). You simply can’t think the same way when you are in movement.
- The second way is to create something. This could be baking, doodling, collecting leaves on a walk, pour salt on the table and trace a fish with your finger, build a sandcastle, create a model of the Eiffel Tower out of matchsticks and marshmallows! Get curious, playful. When we start creating something different areas of our brain are stimulated. We get in to fluid thinking (open, curious, exploratory) as opposed to crystallised intelligence (fixed, habitual, learned knowledge). It is that crystallised intelligence that got you stuck in the first place. When we are in creative mode new solutions to problems just bubble to the surface of their own accord. It is almost miraculous.
In the following weeks I plan to take a deeper dive into how to change the way we think in unexpected ways. If you follow me on this journey I can promise you ‘coincidences’ will start to pop up more and more frequently. Unexpected insights will appear out of the blue. Some of the beliefs you thought were holding you together will show themselves for what they really are – unseen traps that are holding you back. It’s going to be a fun ride 🙂
If any of this speaks to you, and you would like a quick chat with me personally you can book a time using this link . Or simply contact me and suggest a time that suits you.
